If you’ve been wondering how to save a relationship, below are 7 simple steps you can take to accomplish this, but first a little story. Sean and Lizzy both work hard. Sean works long hours at the office, and Lizzy spends her time tending to the children. Sean doesn’t feel she has time for him, and Lizzy thinks Sean doesn’t have time for her. Can their relationship be saved? Should it be saved?
Before a relationship can be saved, you have to decide if it’s worth saving.
Most can be saved if both parties involved decide to put in the hard work sometimes required. If, however, one of the people involved isn’t dedicated to saving it, there isn’t much you can do.
There are plenty of people you pass on the streets every day who stay in relationships because they are convenient, or stay with the marriage because of the kids, but that’s just not enough. The key to how to save a relationship is that both parties have to mutually decide that it is worth saving.
One problem with how to save a relationship is that people falsely believe that the symptoms of the problems are the problems themselves. That’s why the next step you need to take is to zone in on the problem or problems in the relationship.
One example is an affair. Many people think this is a problem that causes break ups, but in truth, an affair is actually a symptom of a larger problem. A lack of real intimacy can lead to an extramarital affair. Most people would look at the situation and think the affair was the problem that caused the break up, but in reality, it was the lack of true intimacy that was the real cause, the affair was the symptom. If you don’t address the lack of intimacy, you might be able to use guilt to stop another affair, but most likely another problem (like pornography addiction) may arise because you have dealt with the core of the real problem.
When you start to handle the real core of the issue, and not the symptoms, you are able to save the relationship.
Once the core issues have been identified, you can take a moment and speak your feelings to your partner. Allow them to do the same and hold your partner’s hand while listening to their feelings as a way to show them you want to reconnect even if you are emotional. If your partner talks about something that hurts you, try to remember that they aren’t doing it to hurt you purposefully, but are doing it because they want to improve the relationship.
For example, if your problem is that you don’t spend time together like you used to, take a weekend getaway or set up a date night each week. Even if the date night is Wednesday, you’re spending time together. Then, you and your partner can take turns thinking up fun and exciting ways to spend your date night.
If communication is your issue, schedule 20 minutes before bed when you turn off the TV, shut down the computer and silence your phone and just talk, just the two of you. And, then take action and do it.
And Finally, you must realize that saving a relationship is a process. Often you will go two steps ahead and take one step back. There will be pain and joy as you move along. Just remember to be quick to apologize and slow to place blame.
Have you decided that your relationship is worth saving? If it is, the advice in this article will give you a very good start.
Want to find out more about How To Save Your Relationship, then visit Paul ‘PJ’ Jackson’s site and discover if you can Save Your Relationship or if it is doomed.